super-hardcore definition of veganism invented

For those that feel being a regular vegan is too easy, here's an extra challenge.

1. Define vegan as not using any animal produce
2. Consider that labour is a form of produce
3. Consider that humans are animals

Bingo, you now have a dietary requirment that means you cannot eat anything that any person or animal has worked to help produce, including yourself. You are resigned to lying under trees with your mouth open, hoping that fruit will fall in.

Bon apetit!