Week one of being vegetarian - a carnivore's point of view

The day five of being vegetarian: I went to Downing college for lunch, and when seeing the food there exclaimed:

- Oh, damn, but I am a vegetarian!

- They serve vegetarian food. replied my friend to my disappointed cry.

- Sure they do. I am not afraid that there is no food for vegetarians here. I just realized that I have to eat it.

As you can tell, I didn’t really think the “being vegetarian during February Project” through. Being vegetarian in Cambridge seemed so easy: Colleges serve vegetarian option (I’ll get back to this one later), there are cafes with snacks around, fruits and yoghurts are everywhere… Hey, I’ll eat healthy and do my bit in “saving the world”. How naïve was I…

First problem occurred on the day one: I ate fish. “Vegetarians eat fish” was what I heard before, and why I went for it. Well, it seems they don’t. So I messed things up the very first day, with unsustainably fished peace of animal meat (when I phrase it like this, it is clear why eating fish is not acceptable, damn!).

Problems went on: every day, I would take the vegetarian option for lunch, a soup, potatoes/rice/corn, vegetable salad, a bun, a cake and a cup of coffee after. Within two hours I would become hungry as a wolf! So I would go for tomato and cheese sandwich. It would not deceive the constant sense of throbbing hunger even for 20 minutes… So I would munch on fruits, and junk biscuits until the vegetarian option dinner in the College. Only the fact that there was chocolate always around would enable me to bridge the hunger gap between that dinner and going to bed…

And what kind of food do I eat: I can be critical about the fat layer of melted cheese on the vegetarian options, but I know that it is what keeps me alive. All that pasta, deep-fried potatoes and cooked anemic vegetables… The industrial mash of … well something that is called “veggie burger”. Even I know that it is not healthy. It is just meat-free. And meat per se is not bad… So, there will actually be no health benefit for me out of this, I assume. I may mess up my blood levels of iron, gain/loose weight (am not really keen on any of these outcomes), and will be in perpetual state of grumpiness and somatically felt but obviously mentally induced sense of perpetual hunger. All in the month of lent bumps when I get to have at least 3 outings on the river (yap, getting up around 6 am), while successfully avoiding ergs and running.

So why am I doing this? What am I trying to do, and why don’t I just quit?

First, I need a personal change related to sustainability and vegetarianism is perfect for this. Second, I need a real change and for me not eating meat is the real change. I enjoy meat-based food, and actually have to remind myself that “if the host didn’t serve meet, it is not because s/he wants to insult, it is because some cultures consider meat free lunch perfectly culturally acceptable even outside times of wars and famine”. And third, I always had this attitude that mind is stronger than the body, and that if we want we can control the cravings for something as ephemeral and materialistic as a peace of meat on a plate (i.e. bloody, medium raw steak… or chicken white meat, made with potatoes that are soaked in roast juices, and covered in gorgonzola sauce…ok, I’ll stop).

Moreover, in theory I am a vegetarian/vegan a couple of days every year. For traditional/religious reasons on the Christmas Eve day, Easter Friday, the day of Saint Lazarus and two more Days of the Cross (that I, to be honest, usually forget) I fast by not eating anything made of animal, with fish being the only exception. So it means no meat (except fish sometimes), but also no milk or dairy products (cheese, yoghurts), no eggs, no chocolate (has milk), no pastry (has butter/milk/eggs), and so on… I exert this little exercise of “I can do it”, and yes I can do it but only for a day!

So becoming a vegetarian was not an uncharted theory completely… But, I was only doing it for a day, and when one does it from (pseudo)religious beliefs it is completely different since the whole point is different. It is not mainly for eating healthier, and it is not for reducing carbon footprint in production of food we consume. Oh no. It is to remind ourselves that “the Kingdom of Earth is of little”, that we are just passing by through this Valley of tears on our way to eternal life somewhere else, and that physical enjoyment, food in particular, is just a sinful deception that makes us connected to this world, while we should be preparing ourselves for the other.

During those days, if I wish I could eat meat, I realize that my spirit is meek, my Christian faith non-existent, but I endure since the whole point is not “to enjoy it”. On the contrary!

Whereas in vegetarianism some say that you can actually enjoy it! And people also tell me that “if I tried “real” vegetarian food I would love it!” What is “real vegetarian food”? Why is what we have served in the hall “a real non-vegetarian” but not the “real vegetarian” food? And I am pretty sure that if they (my vegetarian friends) tried a sustainable grown chicken that run around fields and ate worms and grass (and not industrial concentrate), prepared with care and with organic ingredients they would love it, too!

My non-vegetarian friends like to point out how all the vegetarian options I eat are not sustainable sourced, probably not healthy, and that fish is not allowed for vegetarians (my massive fail) so my whole personal change project is flawed in its execution and ethical foundation. I remind them that although some of those things are true it is still less carbon intensive that what they eat, could be as healthy or even more, and that I at least am making an effort, and am at least doing something, which is far more worthy than doing nothing and making sly comments (just for fun) to someone on verge of quitting. But than I realise it is hunger and grumpiness speaking out of me, so I stop and apologise myself…

Tomorrow I get to cook for myself… Will I be better than College in making vegetarian food? I have no idea. And I have no idea how vegetarians suppers go with huge amounts of alcohol, but I will find out that one this evening. Will keep you posted.

And I am not quitting yet!